Ahab's Revenge
by Pouncer
Summary: After dark, when they gathered in the mess hall, Rodney told his team "I'm afraid of whales." They nodded, unsurprised. Spoilers through 4x04 Doppelganger


**Ahab's Revenge**

by Pouncer

Nightmares are strange creatures: strong and certain while you're in their grip, wispy and forgotten once awake.

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They visited a jungle planet of crystal growths.

"I'm afraid of whales," Rodney told his team, later.

They nodded, unsurprised.

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Water rushing in, pulling him down, filling his mouth. Rodney couldn't trust himself, couldn't expect rescue. Couldn't.

Then Sheppard was there.

"It was the whale," he said later. "Led us to you."

Rodney smiled to think of it.

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Word came suddenly: Dr. Heightmeyer was dead.

Rodney found himself in the corridor outside her office, remembering the way she'd helped him cope during the siege.

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"I named him Sam," Rodney told Sheppard.

Water stretched to the horizon, but Rodney was safe and dry on the balcony.

Sam's flukes broke the ocean surface, as if he was waving.

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Locked inside a rubber room, but not for losing his grip on sanity.

Rodney was infected with the crystalline entity, a malign force that survived by eating fear.

His father once accused Rodney of being an emotional vampire, but this was too much.

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Hallucinations.

Anxieties.

Headaches.

Ruptured ear drums.

"They're trying to tell us something," Rodney stated.

And then the sun flared.

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Sheppard was dead.

Had died to save Rodney, taking the crystal into himself.

This planet, Atlantis' new home, didn't have any whales.

Rodney missed Sam, even with his namesake commanding the city.

Now there was another loss to mourn.

Too many, too fast.

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After dark, when they gathered in the mess hall, Rodney told his team "I'm afraid of whales."

They nodded, unsurprised.

Rodney went to get another dessert.

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Major Lorne accused Sheppard of being a Replicator.

Another kind of nightmare, after Elizabeth was abandoned.

Sam waved his fluke lazily in Rodney's dream that night, as if to say hello.

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Sheppard fought himself in the gate room. Lies, deceptions, scabbed over wounds that didn't heal true: his double knew all the weak spots.

Sheppard was about to go under, give up, when Rodney walked down the steps and told him to fight.

"I'm not dead."

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Water rushing in, pulling him down, filling his mouth. Rodney couldn't trust himself, couldn't expect rescue. Couldn't.

The puddlejumper was too deep.

Then Sheppard was there, taking wild risks as usual.

"It was the whale," he said later. "Led us to you."

Rodney smiled to think of it, even as he shivered from the cold.

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The rubber room was cold.

Sheppard and Carter stood behind the observation window, looking down and assessing.

Rodney wished he had a blanket.

"Wonder what I'll dream?" he said, unable to keep silent.

Dissertation defense was always a good one, even though he'd been in command of all his research and confident in his conclusions.

Rodney slumped against the side wall. The padding didn't give enough for comfort.

The nightmare was this: a small boat, Rodney at the oars, in the rain, trying to reach Atlantis.

A whale ate him before he could reach the city.

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Breakfast was waffles.

Rodney poured extra syrup on and told his team "I'm afraid of whales."

They nodded, unsurprised.

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Sheppard was dead.

Had died to save Rodney, sacrificing himself to the crystal malevolence.

This planet, Atlantis' new home, didn't have any whales.

Rodney missed her flukes waving.

He felt alone.

Abandoned.

And then there were none.

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Rodney woke with a start.

Worried faces peered down at him.

Sheppard's eyes locked with Rodney's.

"Doing okay there, buddy? We were worried."

Rodney wrinkled his forehead. He'd had the strangest dreams.

"What happened?" he asked.

"We're not sure," Dr. Heightmeyer said.

Why was she there?

"You're dead," Rodney told her.

Dr. Keller exchanged a glance with Teyla.

"So are you," Rodney said to Sheppard.

Sheppard's hand felt warm on Rodney's shoulder. "I'm fine, Rodney. You're the one who was in trouble."

Rodney wanted to fall back asleep. He was tired.

"Hey," Sheppard said. "Stay with us here. You collapsed on our last mission, and we've been trying to figure out why."

"Last mission?" Rodney asked.

"M3X-387. The jungle one? With the crystals?"

Rodney was very confused.

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A couple of days later, he made it to the mess hall for lunch.

His session with Heightmeyer, trying to make sense of what happened while Rodney was trapped in his own mind, had helped.

They were serving meatloaf, and Rodney took his tray over to where Sheppard and Teyla and Ronon had gathered.

The subject of discussion was Lantea, and what they missed.

"I miss the whales," Rodney said glumly.

They nodded, unsurprised.

-end-

Notes: from a prompt by inbetween, "Explain the changes in Rodney's relationships with whales."

Disclaimer: Transformative work, written for love not profit.

_Did this make any sort of sense at all? I really wonder, so let me know._


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